Nanny, 1913 – 2012

Tags

Babies, Circle of Life, Family, grandmothers, Home, Lake Michigan, mothers, Thanksgiving

Losing a grandmother is a slow burning grief, unlike the fiery intensity of losing a mother.   Having lost my mother first, I can attest to this difference.   Of the latter, I recall a frenzied panic and quiet horror.  Months needed to pass before the gaping wound had healed enough for me to reflect upon my mom’s life.   Almost immediately I was able to reflect upon my grandmother’s.  She helped this process considerably by reaching 99 and a half.  News of Nanny’s critical fall came mere moments before news of my daughter’s pregnancy.  In August, I stood on a sand dune Up North, within a mile of Lake Michigan, as my cell phone delivered one call after the other.  I did not yet know Nanny would leave us within the week, but I sensed her passing.  I did not yet know KT’s baby was a little girl, but I sensed the possibility when she cited an April due date within days of Nanny’s 100th birthday.  

A baby is coming…

Aspects of Nanny’s personality will live forever in Memory Lake, which brings a strange sort of comfort.  She was a villain to my mom, a Nanny to me, and a hero to my daughter.  Her villainy passed away with her and my mom, leaving the best of the rest to ‘live on’ in my daughter and me.   Over Thanksgiving, KT said, “I want you to live a very long time, so you can be Nanny, I can be Gramsy, and we can see my daughter’s baby.”   I accepted the challenge.  Then I announced, “But, my name is going to be Mamie.”

What’s in your nucleus?

Tags

art, artist, awakening, center, creativity, death, Divine Mind, faith, Family, God, grief, Home, infinite, inspiration, loss, loving, mom, mothers, nucleus, Parenting, Religion and Spirituality, Social Sciences, source

While a writer was awakening in me, an artist was awakening in my sister.  In these unexpected ways, we blossomed after our mom died eleven years ago.  We adored her and she adored us.  She charged us full of confidence, prayers, and joy.  We had depended on her like protons depend on a neutron.*  When she died, we fell apart.  But, somehow we pieced it all together to come back even stronger.  How did we do this?  This question has puzzled us for years.

Had we become self-centered in our pursuits?  Had we substituted ourselves where she had been?  No.

We had learned that relying on an individual to complete one’s universe is a risky, limited engagement.  When we fell apart, we saw her life’s example at our incomplete center.  She had never placed her mom, husband, or children in the center.  She had placed there a Divine Mind; a very loving God.  This had been the source of her strength.  As soon as we followed her example, we began to heal.  By placing this infinite presence in our center, we formed an even stronger nucleus.  We became charged with a limitless source of creativity and inspiration.

We are all God’s art.  Never doubt it.  Claim your center with “God which art in heaven,” and you will thrive and blossom.

Next time I’ll show you my sister’s art.  (This is not it.)

* photo altered from swiftcraftymonkey.blogspot.com. Chemistry advice provided by daughter, KT.